Sinus!

Oh how I loathe the change of seasons! Ok so in upstate New York we were enjoying a very nice Indian Summer as both I and Chrissy have commented on, however that ended at the start of this week much to my dismay. Thus resulted my downturn. I have a horrible reaction to the change of seasons, especially when it's so drastic. One day its bright, sunny, and 70, next day it's cloudy, snowy, and hovering around 30 degrees. So for the past week, and mainly the last two days I've been dealing with my sinus' and how much they hate the flip-flopping weather.

As a result unfortunately I have barely done anything at all except watch TV, sleep, and ponder what to put on my Christmas list for the bf. The later I loved doing, but after a while the former gets pretty boring. Fortunately, I felt ok enough today to venture back into work and am hoping to make it to the gym tonight. Trust me, even the thought of the gym the last few days made my whole body hurt, let alone actually attempting it.

So better news...this weekend my bfs best-friend, his wife, and a whole bunch of their friends are having a pre-thanksgiving dinner together. Now, I have yet to meet these people simply because every time we were suppose to meet up something on their side happened or something on my side happened. I am extremely nervous about this, as I have never met any of these people, but mainly because this is my bfs BEST-FRIEND!!!, so of course I want to make a great impression. But outside of just trying to put on the best outfit and attitude, I also have to make a 'Thanksgiving' side dish to bring. I DO NOT know any side dish recipes to cook! HELP ME PLEASE!!!! It's times like these where I wish my bf was one of those famous 'Iron Chefs' on tv.

Monday Flip....

So although my blog is about an overweight girl trying to lose a substantial amount of weight, I've come to realize that just informing you about my weight and dieting is beyond boring and does not fully encompass all that I am while dieting. Thus, as you may have noticed, I'm focusing on both my life and my dieting and weight issues more in my posts. I figure that this provides a little more excitement then just what I ate for the day, and allows you all to see that although I am dieting, I'm also enjoying a life at the same time.

That being said, onto my day yesterday. It being Monday is always a little rough, especially after the amazing weekend I enjoyed with my relatives, but particularly because I was dreading this weekend already. I know, right? How could I be dreading a weekend? Simple. I have to work on Saturday. Now I know that some of you probably work two jobs like I do, but I've seriously come to dread the days where I have to work my second job, so much so that it puts a damper on my whole week. Drastic right? But such it is. So I finally made a decision yesterday as I was thinking of how that one day will mess up my whole week - I'm quitting my second job! Yup, after 8 years of being a cashier in a local grocery chain part-time I'm finally hanging up my name tag!!! And I feel great! I had originally gotten the job in high-school, kept it through college and beyond for some extra cash. But now, I am no longer in need of the second job, and quite frankly I simply can't stand it. Don't get me wrong it was a great company to work for, but the job itself was boring and took no brain power to do. So ladies, I am free and so excited!

So with that decision the rest of my day suddenly brightened up. I headed home with a new sense of excitement, explained the decision to my bf, who in his infinite wisdom agreed it was about time, and then I promptly showed him just how much energy I had and how he could help me get rid of some of it. ;)

I do love it when Mondays turn around like that!

'No Calorie' weekend.

Don't you just love when you have such a fantastic weekend that it goes by so fast you can't believe it's already Monday again? Ok, well maybe the later happens all the time but not always the former. My weekend was fabulous!!! I had such a great time just enjoying a girls weekend with my mom, aunt, and cousin. As my cousin stated when we were all finally together for dinner or Friday, "I'm here to inform you that according to news reports, calories do not exist this weekend." So with that statement our weekend kicked off into an amazing whirlwind of shopping, wine, gambling (casino), girl talk, and some amazing memories to last until our next weekend together arrives.

Now although I whole-heartedly agreed with the 'no calories' weekend I definitely did not go overboard. I think my stomach is adjusting to eating less and eating less junk food definitely. It would just get to a point where I was like, 'eww that thing I use to inhale looks so disgusting right now.' Which even though I was not sticking to my diet this weekend, still made me feel good. It's great to know that you're body's adjusting to the change you've decided to make as well as your mind, so at least if one's not keeping you in check the other one is.

Back to the gym and diet plan tonight....but I must admit the 'no calorie weekend' was fantastic and I recommend that everyone enjoy one of those with some of their best girlfriends every once in a while.

Ah, the weekend is here.

It's Friday Ladies! How fantastic is that?! I am beyond hyper today (I really do feel bad for my co-workers who have to put up with me today). I'm feeling great and no, I did not weigh myself and lose some pounds, I'm actually enjoying a natural high today! Why? Because A) It's Friday, B) my Aunt and Cousin will be invading my hometown tonight to go enjoy some girl time with my mom and I, C) the four of us will be traveling west to Enjoy a weekend without the boys at a nearby Casino and Hotel area, and D) Because it's Friday of course!!!!

Ok, so I might be a little over peppy today, but I am enjoying it. Since my cousin shall be keeping her butt at my and the bf's place, I totally did the 'we need to make this house spotless by tomorrow' move last night. I literally washed and vacuumed everything. I'm not normally so crazy, but it's the first 'house guest' we'll have at the house since I moved in, and I definitely want my aunt and cousin to see the house as impressive and not depressive. Is that being a little snobby? I'm not sure.

So as the weekend plans are filled with extravagant events, fun times, and lots of wine. I'm trying to keep my meal options open, but limiting the intake. You know, don't eat the entire plate of food, but pace myself and allow my stomach to tell me when I'm full. It's a step, and in all seriousness, it's the only concession I'm willing to make for the weekend. I mean come on, it's a girls weekend, and there are NO restrictions on girls weekend!

Lazy is as Lazy does...

My delinquency on post writing this week and of course over the last month as whole, can be chalked up to one fact: laziness. Yup, pure and simple. I have, of course, had a life in between there too, but it basically boils down to laziness and lack of desire to spill my guts on the web. But in reality this blog is my sounding board and my own personal therapy session. I can spill my day, my feelings, my aggravations, and am basically free of all consequences except my own guilt. That is why, I love it when you all bring me in check and make me realize that although I'm writing this for the most part as my own personal journal, I am doing it for you too. I look forward to your posts, encouragement, and yes, criticisms.

Life, has been interesting over the last week. I missed my weigh-in on Monday due to fatigue and plain tiredness. Unfortunately, the change of season hits me hard, and this year its worse. If you don't know Upstate New York weather: usually fall hits for September and the beginning of October, then immediately jumps into Winter. But for some reason Mother Nature cannot make up her mind this year. We've jumped back and forth between 30 degree weather and 70 degree weather over the last few weeks, that sometimes I feel like my head is floating and screaming at the weather to make up its mind. On the other hand however, it has made for a very beautiful Indian Summer. So take the good with the bad, right?

My exercising is going well this week. I've gone 3 times so far, but unfortunately will not be going anymore this week due to scheduling. The best and worst part about the Holiday season is having so many events, shopping trips, and family gatherings to go to. So how do I make up the exercise time I'm missing, when I have no time to exercise?

Day 8 - The Holidays begin...

Hello dear followers. I hope you all had as amazing a weekend as I did! I love the Halloween time of year! It means fun and excitement with friends and to me it kicks off the start of the Holiday season..the best time of the year!!! I will not lie, when it comes to the Holidays, I am a junkie and can't wait to see the lights, decorations, and music everywhere! But I also know that with the holidays comes the holiday food, and boy did I notice that the most this weekend.

Halloween was amazing for me. I dressed up for work and enjoyed handing out candy to all of the trick-or-treaters that showed up at our doorstep (the little ones are just sooo cute!). This year we got the big candy bars, so not only did it make us the 'cool' people on the block but it also prevented me from downing 3 or 4 of the candy bars while I was handing out the candy (it's harder to justify having 'just one' when the candy bars are big). And of course we had the Halloween party to go to on Saturday. Which I must say I looked adorable for! I dressed up as a 'naughty nurse' and my bf was a pimp. The party was filled with food and lots of drinks. I brought some Buffalo Chicken Wing dip...which for all of you non-Upstate New Yorkers is amazing (if not the healthiest) and is a great dip to bring to any party, so if any of you want the recipe let me know. So the dip went extremely well and I managed to not pig out on the food and alcohol and still have an amazing time with everyone. I was so excited!

Being able to enjoy Halloween without becoming a pig during the festivities gives me so much hope for being able to accomplish the same thing during the upcoming holidays. Because lets face it, the Holidays are the worst time of year for anyone trying to lose any sort of weight.

Weigh in tonight at my gym, wish me luck!!

Day 3 - A little pampering please...

So my body has not started to ache too badly from the gym exercises. I'm not sure if that's because I'm not pushing myself enough or because I am more fit then I previously thought I was. I'd love to believe the later, but from my weigh in the other day I'm pretty sure its the former. Either way I'm still working out, right? I mean that has to count for a big part of it.

Today was my day off from working out. Instead of my traditional work all day and go immediately to the gym afterwards, I worked and then took a quick trip home to change, see the boy, and be off again. Where might you ask? Well to catch up with a girlfriend of mine over a very much needed pedicure!!! Oh how I love pedicures! Now keep in mind I wouldn't dare let someone touch my feet before I went on a chance trip to NYC and decided I'd try it (because most likely I'd never see the woman doing it again). I immediately fell in love and have had at least 3 pedicures over the last 4 months. :) It may be a little overkill but its a way to pamper myself that I don't normally do.

So after work and some much needed pampering my friend and I went out to get the final touches to our Halloween costumes. (I'm going to be a naughty nurse, she's going to be a punk rockstar). Needless to say the places were PACKED!!! I mean I already had my costume - my BF was sick one weekend so I got it to cheer him up - so all I wanted was some accessories and a wig. Ladies, the mob was intense!!!! I was going to try and look at other costumes to see if I liked them better, but the dressing room line was too long, and because in all honesty I did not want to have to go through the idea of trying everything on just to see that it didn't fit me (I did this last year and almost broke down crying in the dressing room). So I ended up getting a cute Nurse's bag to go with the outfit, and some white fishnets, and this crazy wig. All in all, my day was amazing, and I stayed pretty healthy, even if I did not make it to the gym today.

I hope all of your days were as Halloween and pamper filled as mine!

Day 2 - The Weigh In!

Ok so I'm onto my day two and I'm still pretty pumped about getting fit and healthy. Now I know you've heard this before, but like I stated in my last post I am a new, more driven Bella. My big example of proving this was at the gym yesterday.

Now for anyone who has ever joined a gym you know you have to go through all the paperwork and the tour of the gym and the machines and such, and then with my new gym in particular you go through your measurements. And when I say measurements, I mean ALL my measurements. I was being poked and prodded everywhere, I mean I think the girl came just short of giving me a colonoscopy (and this was just for signing up at the gym!). Now had this been before the driven Bella showed up I would have shrunk away from the girl, turned beet red, and prayed that the torture was over with soon, but nope, instead I held my head up answered EVERY question truthfully, and did everything asked of me no matter how bad the results were. Oh and trust me, those results were bad. It's one thing to go on the scale at home and weigh yourself and know your fat, it's a whole other thing to have all of your inches, fat, and weight calculated on your body. If the scale didn't open my eyes to the severity of my weight issues, then all the measurements from last night most definitely did. For being 25, my BMI was so high, that it was actually beyond that point where they just stop and say "Anything beyond such and such a number is completely obese and you should feel horrible for yourself."

Ok, so that might have been a little dramatic at the end there, but trust me that's what it felt like when I saw that my number was so high it didn't even get a chart placement anymore. Ouch! So needless to say, after poking and prodding I went straight to the actual workout part of the gym and put my butt into high-gear. Needless to say my bedtime last night was very early. :)

Day 1 - Lets get back on track!

Dear Skinny Jean Followers,

As you may have guessed by the amazing title of today's blogpost, I fell off the wagon. I mean I crashed off of it and did not realize how long it had been until I got an anonymous post yesterday asking of my whereabouts. Which by the way thanks to 'Anonymous,' you made me realize I needed to jump back online and let you all know what is going on and what I'm doing about it. It's really amazing to have a support group to help you online as well as off.

Ok down to the details of my fall from the diet. As I told you in my 'Day 14' post, my uncle had recently passed away and I was gone for a few days for the funeral. My eating habits and exercising habits faltered immensely. Then of course I had work stress and my boyfriend and I went on a much needed trip to Las Vegas, which although its a horrible excuse, I said I was on vacation and deserved a break. Needless to say, Vegas ended two weeks ago and I realized on Sunday of this week that not only had I gained every pound I so proudly loss, I also gained an extra pound. I was not happy with myself at this realization, and after some much pouting, self-criticism, and yes a little crying, I kicked myself in the ass and decided to start everything again, only better!

My new self...

The only better part comes in place after the meltdown and disgust I felt for myself. I realized that I don't want to be that way ever again. That WAS my low point. I finally took a long hard look at myself, my eating habits, and my diet and decided that I needed to not only change my physique but myself, body, mind, and soul to make this work. Thus, I have not only started eating healthier but I finally sucked it up and joined the local gym. Now I hadn't done this before because I am very self-conscious about my body and didn't want to go to the gym to do the little exercise I could do, only to be flanked by Barbie and Ken doing double time on the treadmill. But I joined up and was pleasantly surprised to find not only that I wasn't surrounded by Barbie and Ken wannabe's but that there were normal people - lots of normal people- there. I mean people like me, you, and even like Aunt Edna, there just trying to get healthy like me. So with this new drive and new membership I am onto a new start! This big girl is going to become a skinny girl, mind, body, and soul - watch out world, I'm coming out!

Day 14- Two Weeks In...

Oh Monday, blah! So as you may have noticed my blogs from this weekend, are well, non-existent. I'm sorry. My schedule was beyond busy and extremely hectic. Friday was nice and I enjoyed a meal with an old roommate that was healthy (I looked at the menu online before we went to the restaurant) and of course the conversation and girl-time was amazing. Saturday I got my hair chopped. Yes, chopped! I had a good five inches cut off and added some layers to my new hair-do. And I must say I look fabulous!

Oh and the best part about this whole weekend?! In a post uh, romantic moment with my bf, he turned to me as I was getting dressed and said, "Hey, have you lost weight?" Now mind you I have NOT mentioned anything to him about the diet or anything, I mean of course he's seen that I've eaten more healthy food, but in boy-land I really don't think that registers in their brains. So needless to say I was a little surprised. And all I could say was, "Maybe, why?" His answer (as I'm still completely naked), "because it looks like you have. You look good." Needless to say my high lasted for the rest of the day. I almost didn't want to step on the scale this morning in case my euphoria would jinx it or something, but I did and..... 3 more pounds!!!! Ladies that's 7 all together!!!!!! I'm so excited!!! It's so amazing, I keep looking in the mirror checking myself out, seeing where those 7 pounds came from. My goal: next week be down by ten and go shopping for a new pair of pants!! :-)

PS....Not to end today's blog on a sad note but this weekend among all of the amazing events and accomplishments that occurred I also lost a family member. As I'm unsure about the arrangements for this week, I am not sure how consistent my posts shall be. I will try to post regularly, but wanted to inform you that due to the circumstances it might not be possible. I will keep you all informed!

Day 10, 11 - And the Weekend Appears.

I love seeing double digit numbers up there. Isn't it amazing?! I mean ok, so it's not THAT spectacular but when I can say that I've been on a diet for ten straight days I'm pretty excited. I haven't rushed out to Friendly's to get a banana split sundae with my favorite ice cream yet....oh but that does sound so good. (Breathe, eat some nuts, all is ok.) Ok, I'm back. So per my last post all is ok in the household of Bella (that's me). My bf is still a little sore in the mouth but otherwise is taking the pain of loosing 6 teeth rather well, and I managed to get my butt in gear yesterday (Thursday) and not only did my 30 minutes of walking, but kicked it up on the treadmill and added another 30 minutes while watching "The Office." Now if anything is going to get you to take your mind off of exercising when you don't like to it's definitely The Office. I love that show! It is only minimally like my workplace, but I could totally see many of the idiocies that occur on that show happening at my job.

To other news... it's FRIDAY! Which in and of itself brings joy to everyone, but to me especially. I do not have to work my second job at all this weekend (which is a rarity) and I am getting my haircut tomorrow. Ooooo maybe a new do for the newer, slimmer me? Hmmm...that's definitely something I shall need to discuss with my wonderful hairdresser. Oh how I do love Fridays!

Day 9 - Wisdom...thy definition is false.

So please excuse me while I digress from the life of dieting for this post. I know that food, exercise, and health are big in dieting, but so is your daily life occurrences and stress'. Thus for today's post I shall be sharing with you the day I've had. Now I'm not complaining so much as venting, if you can separate the two.

As you may have guessed from the title of today's post much of my day today was centered around Wisdom teeth, more specifically the removal of said wisdom teeth. Now for a little background information on my anxiety heading into today's surgery you must know that I have four family members, of whom 3 have had their wisdom teeth removed. Of the three of us who have so far had our wisdom teeth removed: one had to be hospitalized during the process (she wasn't able to clot after the teeth were pulled), one had to be taken to the emergency room the night after his wisdom teeth were removed, and the last (me) had to be rushed to the emergency room 3 months after (on vacation too!!!!) the removal of my wisdom teeth due to a serious infection. So needless to say my family has a history of bad experiences when it comes to having their wisdom teeth removed.

So back to today - the wisdom teeth being removed belonged to my bf, and of course, I being the most wonderful girlfriend I could be (whatever!) volunteered to take him to the dentist to have said teeth removed and take him home. Well I was a nervous wreck the ENTIRE time (could you blame me?) and at points needed to be calmed down more then the actual patient, who himself hates the dentist office. So with all of this going on I didn't exercise today let alone concentrate on anything I was eating. Come to think of it right now, I couldn't give you a description of any of the food I ate over the last 24 hours...lol, but I could tell you how many times my bf changed his gauze, switched ice packs, and took his Vicodin. I'm not sure if this classifies me as a great girlfriend, an overly nervous person, or a mental case. In any case my boyfriend is thus far doing great, and I don't foresee any trips to the hospital in the near future.

So out of all of today's adventures the positives I can find are 1) I must have worried so much that I probably lost another 4 pounds and 2) it's great having your boyfriend not able to talk and having to try and figure out what he's saying through his hand gestures and mannerisms. Lol! I loved it and being able to say whatever (jokingly) that I wanted and him not being able to respond - he did however manage to exercise his middle finger a lot today. ;-)

Day 8 - Let's keep it coming!

Ah Tuesday, the bane of my existence....no more! As I've stated several times I work two jobs on Tuesdays and am most susceptible to slipping up during this time simply because I have no time. But I have managed to figure out a way to avoid the slip-ups. My first job is your normal 9-5 job, my second job usually starts around 5:30 and will go until 11. I have to stand the entire time and get no break, so eating is impossible. I've come to understand though that I can grab a banana or other piece of fruit in between the two jobs and it'll sustain me until I can eat dinner later. I know, eating past a certain time is NOT healthy or wise when you're on a diet, but sometimes the rules must be broken. Thus, my Tuesday routine has become: end of job one, eat banana, start of job two, end of job two, dinner (usually something light like cereal that won't keep me up to late).

I've managed to figure this out and stay away from my normal haunts on these days (the dreaded fast food) which I usually partook of simply because it was easy and I was too tired to do anything else. It's funny though how I don't even crave it right now, I mean my bf brought home some food the other night from Burger King...and the smell alone made me sick to my stomach. Is this normal, or am I being over-dramatic? Either way, I kinda took it as a good sign since I didn't even want to have a taste of something that I would've normally digested in a matter of seconds. Here's to saying NO to temptation!

PS...Thanks for all the encouragement and support! I love the comments and the advice for exercise, food, and general health! For those of you on your own diets too, good luck! Let's stick to it together!!!

Day 7 - Drumroll please.......

The most dreaded or looked forward to day of the week: weigh in day. Now not to say that I'm scared or anything, but I really, really, want this diet to work and I know that I've tried hard to not only maintain a healthy diet and exercise this week, but I have had a few slip ups (pizza on Sunday with a few buffalo wings...yes, I know! The temptation was too strong.) So needless to say I approach the scale with more then a few hesitations. Now as you might remember from my first post my original start weight was 171 lbs for my little 5'4 frame. So I definitely needed to lose some weight. I figure a few pounds a week will help me to lose the weight I want to and as per many of your recommendations the more healthier I am in trying to lose the weight, the better off I am in keeping it off for the long haul. Ok so enough stalling and trying to find ways to avoid that horrible metal object we call a scale...here goes nothing....

167! Oh my gosh! I've lost 4 pounds! That might not seem like a lot but, wow! 4 pounds in one week! I love it! Ok so I definitely took longer in getting back here to finish writing this because I totally did that full body look in the mirror to see if I could tell where those four pounds came from. No luck, but at least my boobs still look the same size (lol, it might sound stupid, but I am seriously worried that my breast size will decrease and I actually like those!). Anyway, I can't believe it! I'm so excited! Now I've got renewed energy and will power to keep me going for the next few days...which I'll need tomorrow, as it's Tuesday, and it's my double work day!

Oh I'm on cloud nine now....Monday here I come! Oh, but the bathroom is calling me first! Thanks so much for all your support, its so amazing to have people supporting and giving advice! The next 4 pounds are for you guys! ;-)

Day 6- Crazy is as Crazy does.

So the weekend wasn't as rough or hard as I thought it would be. Yes, I did have some conscious moments where I had to decide, "Do I cheat and regret it tomorrow, or do I eat right and clap myself on the back?" Thankfully my will power is still remaining strong for the time being and I was able to enjoy the weekend with minimal cheating.

My adventures out on Saturday proved to be nice. My bf and I went out to lunch with his parents where I enjoyed some wheat pasta with sauce (yes, this WAS one of healthiest meals on the menu). So the food was amazing and the company was too...(luckily I'm in one of those relationships where we actually like each others family otherwise, my diet would have gone out the window after a couple of shots were taken).

Saturday Girls night was also amazing! Enjoyed some much needed female time and I was not too hungry after the amazing lunch so only ended up having a salad for dinner out....no, I'm not starving myself, the appetite level was just diminished which provided and easy answer to what to have for dinner...I loved it!

So to the title of this blog....With everything else that is going on in my life right now, ie...starting a diet, exercising (yes, I am exercising...I walk about 30 minutes a day around our neighborhood), getting use to living with the bf, and everything at work, we decided we needed to throw something else in there. So this weekend my bf and I picked up two kittens at the local animal shelter. Now to explain the craziness of this you must know first of all that I am NOT a cat person (our original purpose was to go look at the dogs), but my bf is. So we looked at one that he thought was cute and then saw him playing with his sister and could not separate them...thus we ended up with two kittens this weekend and needed to do the necessary running around to get all the stuff they require....as I said, we were not prepared to be bringing home any animal, let alone two! But they are completely adorable and have thus far provided a lot of laughs. So uh, needless to say, the diet is still going strong and thanks to our two new purchases this weekend my exercise/chasing has increased dramatically.

Monday brings to an end Week 1 and my first weigh-in since I started! Wish me luck!

Day 4 - TGIF!!!!

Ah, I do love Fridays! Besides the fact that, well, it's Friday and the end of the work week, it also marks the first complete week of work and the diet!!!!! Remember where I said in an earlier post that I have to rejoice in the little things? Well this is me rejoicing in the little things! Work is done, I'm four days down, I've yet to bite my boyfriends head off, and I have not become a nocturnal eater (wake up in the middle of the night with such a strong sense of hunger that you MUST eat). Usually by this time in every other diet I've tried, the nocturnal hunger sets in and bye-bye diet. I am by no means starving myself by eating nothing...I am taking many of your suggestions to heart, limiting my intake of fats, calories, and carbs, and switching to five small meals a day (oh by the way, thanks for the 'nut' suggestion, it's a life-saver!!!!).

Now it becomes the struggle point I believe - the weekend. The time in which every 20-something female enjoys the company of friends and some fun. I am no exception to this and have a pretty busy, if somewhat hectic plan laid out for the entire weekend. My boyfriends parents are taking us out to a very nice lunch tomorrow to belatedly celebrate my birthday, to be then followed by a fabulous shopping, dining, and all around amazing girl-night with one of my closest friends. Where's the problem? You all know it. The dining out and still being healthy. How do I manage to get something without looking like I'm bird picking at her food and still enjoy it? I must also admit to you that I am a picky, no make that a VERY picky eater. Seriously, I could live off of cereal and Kraft Mac & Cheese and would be content for life. So my worries for this weekend are a) enjoy and look like I'm enjoying lunch with my boyfriends parents while still eating a healthy meal, b) have an amazing time with my friend, while still being conscious of calories and carbs. Errrrr! I cheated on the weekends for every diet I've ever done, and I won't do it now....ok well almost won't. I know, I know....but I'm a HUGE football fan and Sunday is football and pizza day with the family. There are just some long-standing traditions that not even a diet can change....sorry for any disappoints, but do know that it will only be one slip, and I am planning for it, so will be extra careful with every other meal that day.

Hmmm....bathroom calls. Really, I'm going to figure out a way to create the attachable toilet. You know one that just sticks to you butt and will prevent you from having to get up every minute...especially when you're trying to cuddle with your boyfriend! Oh the sacrifices we women make to be thin.....

Day 3 - Call me Piss pot.

Have you ever noticed that as you make changes to your diet your bodily functions change? I mean that is a completely obvious deduction but you don't realize how drastic the change is until it occurs...and occurs rapidly! To give you a little background on the situation I should inform you that my usual intake of beverages consist of a morning coffee filled with caffeine, sugar, cream, and oh yea, caffeine! I am a waste of space at my desk without any form of caffeine in the morning, and the cream and sugar are added simply to help in the intake of the coffee, because without the caffeine I would NOT be a coffee drinker!

Anyway, the rest of the day would be followed with more of the same: a coke at lunch (nothing diet, just regular) maybe a whole bottle of water consumed throughout the day, and depending on my mood at night, another coke or class of milk. All in all, I was most definitely not getting my '8 glasses of water a day' nor was I even coming close to the required liquid intake they suggest. Fast forward to today and my diet: I go...no I RUN to the bathroom almost every 45 minutes! I am trying to be good and drinking my liquids (water) and less coffee (oh dear caffeine how I miss thee), but with the new intake of water levels, by bladder apparently can't keep up. With the amount of time I spend in the bathroom and running to the bathroom, I believe my coworkers are starting to worry about my health...both mental and physical.

So needless to say if the bladder control doesn't start improving I may turn into the crazy astronaut lady and wear a diaper at my desk just to prevent any more weird stares from my co-workers. I mean I know women pee more then men in general (or at least that's what the public bathroom lines tell me) but at this rate I think I should start investing in toilet paper stock...even in this market!

Day 2 - Cringe and Squirm...

Ok so I am either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid, either way here goes....

I decided that in order to prove that I am a) real and b) serious about finally losing weight I took what I'm calling the 'Scary fat girl' pictures. They are before pictures of myself currently, you know like the ones they show on those cheesy gym equipment commercials that you swear must be digitally enhanced? Well I decided that I'd do that...of course, sans face, but still you get the gist of the rolls that are me.

So there I am in my flab and stretch marks. Roll one of course hangs over the stretchy shorts, which ride up the crotch because my thighs stick together, and what pretty thighs they are aren't they? (Ok don't think this is a pity party, it by no means is. The pictures are a wake-up call that I most definitely need to digest.) Due to the blackness of the shorts, you're unable to see the second roll lying beneath the first...but trust me it's there, and my jeans show it! Err! So this 'flab and glory' is what I am striving to get rid of. Right now I'm concentrating on staying to the diet, ie eating healthy foods...and yes I know cereal and diet pills are not the best way to go, but honeynut cheerios is fine with half a cup of skim milk and the diet pills will not be taken for a large amount of time, and will be weened off gradually to help prevent the plummet back into fat-dom. Hmm...maybe I should get out of fat-dom first, before I discuss plummeting back into it?

Day 2 - Energy!

In the beginning of any new diet/weight loss plan you will inevitably have those first few days of complete will power. That is where I currently am. As I've only gone one day into my diet so far, I'm doing pretty good sticking to it. Yesterday would normally tend to be my hardest day of the week I imagine. I work two jobs on Tuesdays, one right after the other, and normally ingest fast food as a quick dinner between the two...however I abstained from the fast food establishments that are literally on every corner around me, and instead waited until I finally retreated home for some cereal. Cereal may not be the greatest food to partake of while on a diet, but if I'm to give up all the fast food joints, and co-worker lunches to those joints (yes, that is necessary) then cereal will be my savior!
I have yet to experience that all consuming feeling of hunger that drives you to distraction until you finally breakdown and grab that chocolate bar or unhealthy burger, so props to me! Yea, I know, only one day. In all honesty however people are right, you need to take all the little successes and make them personally big successes or you'll never reach your final goal. So I'm taking the small steps as they come and celebrating. Day 2 - here I come!

Day 1 - Ready, Set, Go!

Ok so this is Day 1 - I suppose I should start out by informing you about myself. I am by no means some skinny chick who needs to lose a few pounds and therefore considers herself fat. I am fat. Plain and simple. I have been fat since puberty kicked in, gave me some awesome boobs, and a big stomach, with a nice butt. That was 13-years ago. I am now 25 and more then ready to remove the love handles that I am not fond of, and the butt that is no longer cute (the boobs, well they can stay.) Full disclosure? I am 5"4, weigh as of this morning 171 lbs, am a size 14 (if I'm being truthful and not striving to shove myself into my jeans, I'm actually a size 16), and my bra size has become a 38C. Cup size has stayed the same since I was about 15...whatever the other number stands for has progressively increased since that age, and I know that's not a good thing (although the guys might think so).

Why the sudden desire to NOW start worrying about my weight, health, and body image? Simple, I'm fed up enough now to actually want to do something about it. Plus, I've recently started living with my boyfriend and am more conscious of my entire body image then I was before. Yes, yes, he loves me no matter what, but come on girls you gotta be with me on this...I'd rather he see me in a sexy teddy from Victoria Secret that looked absolutely amazing on me, then wearing a pullover nightgown from WalMart. I'm not dissing WalMart by any means, but when it comes to sex and sexy VS has it down.

Outlining my weight loss strategy - 1) Eat healthier (no more morning D and D trips on the way to work). 2) Find at least a few minutes a day to exercise (to this point exercise is all but a foreign word to me). 3) Exercise without collapsing and having to be rushed to the hospital. 4) This may be extremely controversial to some of you out there...but I am doing it anyways. I will be taking diet pills along with the above steps to help 'speed' along my weight loss. 5) Keep up with this blog....outside of losing the actual weight, this will probably be the hardest for me to do...I was never good at the journal writing in class.

Rewards for achieving goals:
Loss of 5 pounds: Nice job, but not worthy of much - keep going.
Loss of 15 pounds: Now we're getting somewhere - reward, new pair of jeans (if applicable).
Loss of 20 pounds: Shoes anyone!?!?!?!
Loss of 25 pounds: Hopefully fitting into some amazing dress and going out to a fabulous place with the bf.
Loss of 30 pounds: Hello Victoria Secret!!! Shopping spree of lingerie and nighties!!!
Loss of 40 pounds: Bikini and a beach with my buds (never happened before...would be so amazing!)